SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
