Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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