He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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