i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
