Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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