Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize