It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
