The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
