Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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