I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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