lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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