i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
