DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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