PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
