He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
