Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
