try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she told me i tasted like america
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
