just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
