its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
