Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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