thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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