There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
