Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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