My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
