please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did you pee in the oven last night??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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