She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
