yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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