Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
