So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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