It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
