Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
