I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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