lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
