I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
