Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize