I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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