his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
