its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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