so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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