This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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