I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
