i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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