Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
