i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
