go do what you do best...puke behind churches
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
