You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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