that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
