Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
