remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
