Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
