So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
My ATM looks so different sober.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
