Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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