look no pants
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
