Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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