the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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