D3 body, D1 cock
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
