i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Be still, my beating vagina.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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