So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
