Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
