i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
